As I wrote in my previous post, the purpose of routines is so that you can trust that you will be there for yourself on your path in life. I get that many routines are more to make “life work”, but I wonder, what is this life that is supposed to work? And more importantly, is it working in your favor? If you lead a life that you just need to manage, maybe it is time to reflect on what you’re doing and for the sake of whom. Of course, we all have periods where it’s not all rose shimmery, but if life is never rose shimmery, then this one is for you.
There are many reasons why we can be stuck in life. One of them is that we lack self-trust. We don’t trust that we will show up for ourselves. We don’t trust our ability, capacity, and inner compass, and if we lack that, no wonder we lead our lives in a way that is more about “managing” – because we have no clue what we need or want.
How do you figure out what you want and need? You start small. You start showing up for yourself in small ways that are based on compassion and love. When I say small, I mean small. I mean committing to the routine of drinking a glass of water the first thing you do in the morning. It is simple, yet nourishing. After doing this for some time, you can add things. Like doing a breathing exercise for five minutes after the glass of water or anything else that makes sense for you. How can a small act like this make a difference? It’s because you will accumulate experience over time that indeed, you did show up for yourself. And if you listen carefully, your inner child is going to trust more and more that you will be there and will start whispering its longing of the heart.
I really want to put emphasis on going slow and really incorporating your commitments in your life. It’s easy for some to get swept away in the “self-improvement-project” craving quick results and a new life. Disappointment is sure to come when you cannot be steadfast, and maybe a spiral of self-hate and doubt will ensue. I’m talking about showing up for yourself for weeks, months, years, and your whole lifetime. Can you commit to your routine of choice for years? If it’s a glass of water every morning, yeah sure. Building self-trust in a life where there has been none takes time.
Just to be clear, it is not about being super strict either. You do this because you want to. Because you are curious to get to know yourself and your needs and wants. It comes from a place of love and compassion, not from punishment. And as time passes, it will not be as important to rigorously stick to the routines, because trust is already established.